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At which she said, "Well, then, when did she get so fat?"
So I think I know what you mean.
All of the networks you mention are not in the news business. They're in the entertainment business, which is proven by the fact that they'll come up with anything that will keep you glued to their network so that you can watch the advertising spots their sponsors paid for. Pure and simple.
And yes, I have no idea how I know this. But unfortunately, this shit is EVERYWHERE. I've been avoiding gossip newspapers and online shite, and yet I STILL pick it up ... oiy.
One issue I agree with Randi Rhodes on: news media reform. When a network or show markets itself as news, it needs to be held to some standards.
Those standards preferably not including tummy-bump spotting as if women's lives were just a game.
I feel like a blank stare teaches them not to do that again (hey, that's how I learned...). I could let them off the hook ("not pregnant! just fat!"), but then they'd just do the same thing to the next person.
This is way less cute now that I'm older and have had pregnancy issues.
No, never. Nor miscarriage gossip, for that matter.
her husband's friend just couldn't keep his hands off her belly
Which reminds me of another thing I hate -- pictures of straight expectant couples with his hand on her belly. Even when it's a progressive couple who I know doesn't think this way, I still can't help but look at that pose and infer his claiming ownership of her belly.
This is yet another reason I will never be pregnant. Issues.
Also - when I was pregnant, and people would ask me about it, I'd tell them I was really fat. And they'd be all, "oh, I'm sooo sorry." And then I'd say, "I'm not. Donuts make me happy!" It always made them back away slowly. Also, people who tried to touch the belly got slapped. HARD.
eg. for a man I would say something like, "Wow. You've been wearing really loose pants lately. Is your sperm count low?
Oh, that is perfect.
Seriously, I probably never would have done it if it hadn't happened by accident. And I was so in denial that I was 5 months along by the time it occured to me that i was indeed pregnant.
It worked out for me, but gods I wouldn't ever want anyone to go through that.
And frapp bloat is the puffiness your stomache aquires about 30 minutes after drinking a frappacino from starbucks, due to the high lactose volume contained therein.
It's dumb, because only very, very thin people wearing very fitted clothes puff out enough for anyone to notice.
When? Sometime before now, I guess, but that's not the question, is it? No, the question is Why didn't I notice that girl had a reason to be ashamed?
Tho I can understand the compulsion to want to touch a pregnant woman, just like there's a compulsion to touch a newly shorn soldier, or old bald guy. Not that I share it. I don't really have a compulsion to touch anyone, really. Except cats.
And if won't affect her career either according to ABC news http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/queerty2/~3/3054...
You have GOT to be kidding me.
Tho I can understand the compulsion to want to touch a pregnant woman, just like there's a compulsion to touch a newly shorn soldier, or old bald guy.
Just ask George Bush!
Sorry that got a bit OT.
So, I'm not alone in thinking this. It drives me crazy to see that "Mine, Mine, Mine!!!" clasp. Probably related to the strange little life I've lived, but I've always wanted to rip the thumbs off men who do that. Thankfully, my husband knows I've got "issues" and never did that when I was pregnant. Otherwise, I'd be sitting on death row here in Texas about now.
I think this whole media obsession with pregnant celebrities is to re-glamourize pregnancy and mothering in order to get more white women to want to breed, cuz you know how white people are getting outbred. Notice how it's always white women who are the subject of this speculation?
The sad thing is, I'm 24, and I have many friends who are very recently married or single and pregnant. Meaning I know too many people who aren't delaying motherhood, which seems to be in contrast to that horrifying and terrible trend that we hear so much about.
You're very likely right, as depressing as that is.
Aka "female celebrities."
Because the networks acknowledge that newsgathering is an expensive proposition. Maintaining a news bureau overseas or domestically is costly. Reporting news on celebrities is cheap. So we get more ridiculous crap about who has a bump or a freckle or a wrinkle instead of what we really need -- sound analysis of the global and domestic situation that doesn't rely on sound bites, sensationalism or opinion-mongering to make it's point.
Oh, I'm sorry. Is my journalism degree showing? Silly me. But what do I know? I'm just a girl. I probably am only interested in who has a bump or a freckle or a wrinkle.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......................
Mostly, but I think that's only because white women are more the focus of the paparazzi generally. I've seen speculation about Beyoncé being pregnant on several occasions.
Me too Betsy. Nobody told me that my belly was supposed to be round either. I was horrified (as was my mother) with my 9 year old round belly. It drives me absolutely insane. If only someone had been a mentor to me and explained that after I ate, my stomach might be full and rounded....I don't know. I just plan on being that person for as many little girls as I can.
The vicious circle of if nobody was interested or watched it, then we wouldn't report it, but then if they didn't report it, no one would be interested or watched. I hate it!
But then, when all we've been hearing about is drugs, rehab, and Britney, of course the speculation of a "happy" possible pregnancy would be better news. right?
No, never. Nor miscarriage gossip, for that matter.
The only time I've seen it stray into that area is when some Blind Items popped up about an actress checking herself into rehab after she did so much coke she had a miscarriage, and she didn't even know she was pregnant at the time.
Then commenters/bloggers cross-reffed the old "she looks preggers" posts with the new rehab check-ins and speculated.
But again, this was mostly blog stuff. I dont think it hit the "news."
If this "bump" spotting trend isn't irritating enough, the resurgance of empire-waisted clothes has made it even more fun for rude people to speculate. I am constantly asked when I'm due when I wear an empire top. I usually point to my 3 year old and say "In May, 2005." And don't get me started on how many strangers touch your stomach when you're pregnant. It was really mindboggling to me to be in an elevator or in line at the store and have a total stranger grab my pregnant belly and rub it.
I really believe that as long as we have this infantalized society who refuses to grow up and behave like adults we're going to have the same kind of juvenile bullshit infotainment and the same sort of adolescent attitudes about gender and sex. Sorry, it's the Mom in me speaking here but I'm so tired of 30-something "news" people acting like middle school brats with a piece of menacing gossip to share. Grow up, people.
Tho I can understand the compulsion to want to touch a pregnant woman, just like there's a compulsion to touch a newly shorn soldier, or old bald guy.
Okay, I really never got the "must touch buzz cut" fixation of some people. My legs feel like that on a regular basis. It's not that exciting. I'm with Betsy, though, on the curiosity and wonder at a human being growing inside someone. It's cool. But all that is overridden by the fact that I'd like the people I touch to want me to touch them. Otherwise, it's just assault.
Aye. The term "baby bump" makes my teeth itch. Although "frapp bloat" would make an awesome name for a grindcore band.
For this reason, entertainment media doesn't actually bother me, so long as it doesn't get mixed with real news. People magazine I can ignore. Celeb "news" on the front page of a newspaper? Not cool. (And really, folks: Why are you getting your news from broadcast anyway? If you want the real thing, go to real journalists. Don't waste your time with Reporter Barbie and Ken on CNN or your local CBS affiliate.)
People need escapism. When your life sucks because you don't have a living wage job or proper healthcare, you'd go nuts if you just thought about reality all the time. Celeb news gives people a chance to both live vicariously through the lives of the rich, famous and beautiful, and to pick at them out of jealousy for those facts. The same exact thing is true of sports coverage (which is just another form of entertainment/celeb worship.) People obsess over whether a given sports figure is "married" to a new team or whatever.
If overall conditions for the masses were to improve--including education, which must necessarily include arts appreciation and such--I'm sure the tastes would change, and the offerings would change to adapt to it. But until we improve the economy, we're not going to see any real change in what the public wants to entertain themselves.
Besides, people who get into showbiz or sports as a profession are fully aware of the public attention they're going to be subject to. Most crave it, and wouldn't have careers without it. The handful of serious actors or athletes who love what they do instead of just loving the spotlight aren't the ones being featured on TMZ anyway.
Also, a dirty little secret that most folks may not know: Most of this coverage is not just sanctioned by stars' publicists, but generated by them. That baby bump speculation is probably something that the star's people actually dropped on the photogs and tabs. So if you want someone to blame for the trend, those are the people you should be focusing on.
I have been asked by strangers, on more than one occassion, when I'm due. I've never been pregnant. I have a permanent "baby bump;" it's called concentrated tummy fat. So I don't just look like a heavy woman; I look pregnant. Greeeeeat. Once a strange man approached me on the street and told me I shouldn't be smoking, as it could hurt the baby. *blink*
While I KNOW it's all patriarchal bullshit, I still get down on myself when I'm in the checkout line at the grocery store, comparing the incredibly thin, potentially pregnant (i.e. full from lunch) women on magazine covers to myself. I wonder how often people think "tsk tsk" to themselves when they see me smoking.
While this post points out a lot of problems with the speculation, my problem with the terminology way back in 2008 was that it's kind of ugly and objectifying. I'm hardly the most sprog-worshipping person in the world, but if someone is really going through all the discomfort and anxiety of gestating a new life into being, I hardly think 'bump' is a kind term for it. Plus, as mentioned in my blog post, they're always 'sporting' bumps, like pregnancy is a new chunky sandal.
and i HATE the phrase baby bump. It's not a bump, it's a belly, or a uterus, or whatever. A bump is what you get when you bang your knee against something or hit your head.
cheers!
If people are getting visibly bloated from drinking Starbucks frappuchinos because of the lactose content in them, wouldn't it be an idea if they, I dunno, stopped drinking them?! Unless you belong to certain ethnic groups with long histories of raising cattle (like some people from NW Europe and some people from Africa), adult lactose intolerance is normal. Drinking milk as an adult actually isn't. Those people have a genetic mutation that lets most of them continue consuming milk; the rest of us don't. We're the only species who doesn't, you know, wean ourselves, we just switch the milk source when we stop nursing. ('Course, I'm from one of those other European ethnic groups, and I lost my lactose tolerance almost 20 years ago, and did the grown-up, sensible thing and started deriving my calcium and some of my protein from vegetable products, mostly.)
And would you really touch a cat without permission?
Whose permission? Strange people's cats jump off their porches and accost me and demand attention when I'm walking around; does that count as having the cats' permission, or what? :)
But I do love pregnant woman bellies. I am a massage therapist and a doula and love the fact that we can make new humans. Wow. I must confess that I have asked women if I could touch their bellies and I have never been turned down. But I would NEVER assume I could touch someone without their consent first. That is just creepy and a violation of their bodies.
Nah, that's not new. A few years ago, back when I still bought the occasional Cosmopolitan or Glamour magazine, one had a "the look" page, illustrated with all the must-have trends that get put together to form an ensemble that would "get you noticed." And I shit you not, the "daytime accessory" was a baby. Borrow a friend's if you don't have your own.
I believe that would be what is known as enthusiastic consent.
Oh, and someday, when I am preggers, I think a lot of ppl will be losing their hands...
And I'm in the minority, but "baby bump" doesn't bother me. A bump is simply a convexity, not an injury necessarily. The baby causes a convexity--so, baby bump, makes sense to me. I certainly like it better as English than "baby daddy" that bugs my grammar nerdiness no end.
You rock soqueer. I think all of us could have done with more of those kind of people when we were kids. I really wish now, that I'd had had someone to really tell me that fat, thin, whatever, it really really doesn't matter. It feels as though I never ever heard that message but I'm sure that can't be true. I definitely wish that I'd heard it more often anyway. I'm gonna try be that person too
"Female Bartender: Brazilian female or someone who appears Brazilian with dark features, mid 20's-30. You should have a Brooke Burke pre-baby body, sexy, a little mischievous looking like Angelina Jolie. You must have Mixology experience, and can work fluidly with cocktails, glasses, bottles and shaker. English speaking, sexy voice. Talent with Brazilian heritage are encouraged to submit. Must be legally 25 years old or older. "
UGH!
It's particularly egregious when (potential) pregnancy is treated as a kicky fashion accessory (per Felicity's observation, like it's a new kind of sandal or something), something all the hot young actresses are trying these days. Ugh.
I can't decide if the trendy/fashionable angle is more or less annoying/troubling/rage-inducing than the faux-breathless 'oops, someone was naughty!' angle. Quite frankly, either treatment is totally demeaning, albeit in grossly different contexts.
Okay, I really never got the "must touch buzz cut" fixation of some people.
People have done this to me now and again, over the years. They do usually *ask* me first, though.
I think this merits satirical male pregnancy stories. What guys are looking a little chubby lately? Has anyone had excessive meat cravings? I'VE GOT TO KNOW.
Men looking chubby? Excessive meat cravings? *GASP* you mean... I'm PREGNANT?
When did THAT happen? Why didn't anybody tell me?
Of course, given how long I've had a chubby belly and have craved large quantities of meat, I am on approximately (*quick calculations*) my 40th trimester, give or take a couple. Damn, that's a long gestation period, huh?
As for the father placing his hand on the belly, well, it does seem a bit weird that they do it in pictures, but I give them a break because they are probably just looking for a connection to the baby and that's the easiest way to show it. I'm just imagining a beaming papa-to-be being so excited about the kid he can't keep from touching the belly.
obnoxious people do not stop violating mama/baby space when the baby's out, either - there are so many lunatics who will walk right up to you and try to touch the baby or even ask to hold them. okay, you asked - that's better than reaching, i s'pose ... but seriously? you are a total stranger and you want to hold this baby. FREAK.
and *i'm* only the nanny. seriously. i love slings; strollers, people will fuck with you a lot more often then than they will if you're strapped to the baby. i suppose it should be comforting that there's still an instinct to PICK UP THE BABY - babies are not designed to be carried around in plastic buckets, yes, they are made cute so people want to hold them; very good for baby development - but dude. they have immature immune systems; even if i had no boundaries and let you touch the baby a few times, i'd soon learn my lesson. taking care of sick babies is a lot harder than taking care of well ones.
KEEP YOUR GERMY HANDS TO YOURSELF.
my body, and any baby i happen to have with me, is not public property. please stand three feet back. thank you.
another bizarre baby-related issue that involves rude people not able to keep their rudeness to themselves: "are they yours??" what, these kids with me? no. not that it's any of your business, but no. usually it was just assumed they were mine. people would refer to me as 'mom' or 'mama' when addressing the children, something i have never been - and thanks to my work, never want to be. even the kids call me mama by accident at times, just like i call one by his brother's name; there's no assumption involved, but a mistake is a mistake. whatever. but another nanny friend who we hung out with a lot (the kids were friends) was chinese, caring for white babies. she got asked this all the time. 'oh, are they yours?' emphasizing the possessive. what? are you stupid, rude, or just have no filter installed between the lizard lobe of your brain and your mouth? good gods. what if they are? what's your follow-up question, then? 'how did a chinese woman have white babies?' i see white parents with chinese babies, it never occurs to me to ask, 'are they yours?' shocking ignorance, it's everywhere.
One of the funniest dust ups on the bus I've ever seen involved this. This man, without even a "hello", grabbed the stomach of a very pregnant woman and asked her when she was due. She, without even a blink, grabbed his stomach, and asked him the same question.
He got angry and insulted saying - get this - that SHE shouldn't just touch people ( you know, men) without their permission. She laughed at him and said "Take your own advice". Some people (you know, women) clapped.
Ah, the bus. I don't miss driving at all.
And I must say that, as mutant superpowers go, it rocks. Don't worry: we, the milk-drinking overlords, will be kind.
Hmm. Chalk me up as one of the people who never did think that way, but now that you mention it...
I suspect the progressive couples in question (and probably most of the others as well) are going for a "happy family all together" effect with The Clasp. What would be a good way to achieve that effect without invoking the "Mine, Mine Mine!!!" effect? Simply having the couple hug (which, of course, puts her belly between them) doesn't incorporate the sprog-to-be in quite the same way. Perhaps having the man down on one knee, hugging the woman around the waist, resting his head on her belly? That demonstrates affection for (and from) both mother and baby-to-be (which is what the family and the photographer were going for by taking such a picture in the first place), and it shows him almost as a supplicant, which illustrates just who is the central figure in the pregnancy, whose belly it is, and who approaches it with permission.
Think that could work?
As for the touching...I shouldn't be, but I am shocked and amazed by the stories I'm hearing. Surely these people wouldn't dare to just walk up and handle someone who wasn't pregnant. Personally, the only person whose permission to touch her I take as given is my wife, because she's given it in blanket fashion (and can withdraw it at any time for any reason, of course). And I include the cats in that statement: "C'mere Gracie...c'mere! Coooome here! Okay, fine, let's see if Kodama wants to play, then..."
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Reminds me of this casting I found in my inbox...
"Female Bartender: Brazilian female or someone who appears Brazilian with dark features, mid 20's-30. You should have a Brooke Burke pre-baby body, sexy, a little mischievous looking like Angelina Jolie. You must have Mixology experience, and can work fluidly with cocktails, glasses, bottles and shaker. English speaking, sexy voice. Talent with Brazilian heritage are encouraged to submit. Must be legally 25 years old or older. "
UGH!
WTF Brooke Burke pre-baby?? POST-BABY IS EXACTLY THE SAME! Look at her!
<img src="http://celebritybabies.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/01/brooke_burke_584721cbbjpg.jpg">
That's after her FOURTH child!
It really makes me angry, how it's still like a woman's body is public property or something. It should be nobody's damn buisness if a girl looks pregant, is pregnant or whatever. Oh and the whole, 'Tee hee oops, I asked her when the baby was due but she was actually fat.." joke, isn't funny. I'm pretty sure now it's not in anymore, but still. It's like, get a life instead of trying to make women's lives your buisness.
I'm with you all on this one, though. I hate all this "is she pregnant" shit because... I DON'T CARE! Is she somebody I know? No. Is she somebody whose pregnancy could possibly affect my life? No. Then I couldn't give a rat's ass whether or not she's pregnant.
Never, in any of my 4 pregnancies, did I have someone (NOT a family member) come up to me and rub my belly. I did get all the usual questions, but I saw that as part & parcel of the whole pregnancy thing. I've never known a person (in my personal life) to be able to get through an entire pregnancy and NOT get those kinds of questions. I can understand the fascination with a pregnant woman's body, but like somebody else also said, I would never even dream of just reaching out and touching a strange woman's belly. I MIGHT ask, if I was really that curious (or like, say, if the baby had just kicked or something), but I can't remember ever actually doing that to someone that I didn't already know on a personal level.
I never thought of those photos of an expectant couple, with the man's hand on the woman's belly, ever signified any kind of ownership. I can see what you're getting at, but it's just not something that ever crossed my mind. I always saw those, and thought of it as an affectionate thing. Like he's trying to "hug" the baby with his hand or something.
FWIW, I don't worry about this even though my weight (118 lbs.) puts me in approximately the 3rd percentile according to age and height, 33 and 5' 7". My stomach has never "pooched" from drinking a bottle of water nor eating a full meal. Granted, I'm not deliberately starving myself nor am I wearing belly-baring or skin-hugging shirts.
However, I do feel that I have to explain the reason behind my very low body weight. I have intractable epilepsy. The combination of AED's I take to control my seizures as best they can, the side-effects are weight-loss, taste perversion and loss of appetite. Another lovely side-effect is that I don't sweat as much as I used to, so now I run the risk of over-heating. On top of the kidney stones. Those are fun too.
So as a very thin person, I will NOT be putting down my water bottle for fear of someone thinking I'm "knocked up". Go ahead and let them. I've been sterilized. I couldn't care less because I know I'm not having any more kids. I took care that.
As far as the husband/BF/partner putting it's hand over the woman's belly, that's between them. If it doesn't bother her, then why should it bother me? It's their kid. If she doesn't like it, she'll knock his hand off. I did. I didn't want anyone touching my belly when I pregnant. I was tender. I let my old man it know it, he knocked it off. Enough said.
Ditto that. Didn't realize this until getting preggers myself. :-) It's like being a cross between the Virgin Mary and a leper.