Shakesville - Latest Comments

Re: The End of This Road

lauchlen — Tue, 03 Sep 2019 22:55:23 -0000

Everyone has already said it so much better than I'm able, but thank you, Liss, for a great many things. Your blog has helped me grow and learn so much. I'm the person I am today in large part because of Shakesville. Thank you for urging me to expect more and for teaching me the value of a teaspoon. I'm so glad you're doing what you need to to take care of yourself, and I hope your health continues to improve.

I'll miss all the Shakers that made this community, and if any would like to follow me on IG I'm catastrophichymns. I'll endeavor to post more.

Re: The End of This Road

sunnyhello — Tue, 03 Sep 2019 20:04:44 -0000

Melissa, thank you for carving out such an immense space to echo with smarts and warmth and learning and being. If a raised eyebrow could echo, it echoed here. :-) I hope that joy abounds for you, in all the expressions it finds. Peace.

Re: The End of This Road

PhoenixWoman — Sun, 01 Sep 2019 11:03:34 -0000

Hi Liss! I just found out about this thirty minutes ago. Do what you need to do.

I'm saddened but not surprised - and the lack of surprise adds to the sadness - and my anger at your tormentors. The online left is chock-full of people with misogyny issues, like Gamergate writ large, and the women desperately vice-signalling to the men running various groups are often the worst of the lot.

It looks like some of the same sort of people are the ones who harassed me off Daily Kos (with the moderators' blessings) over three years ago at the height of the Kremlin-abetted Sanders online nastiness. (The worst of those are the ones who are either working on or have friends on DK's 'help desk', which has never been all that helpful to supporters of Hillary Clinton.) The irony for me is that the same sort of people who are so up in arms over your deservedly tight moderation were the ones who rushed to get me kicked off DK after over twelve years of my being there, and yet I never had a problem posting comments here on your space.

Re: The End of This Road

Chelsea Black — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 12:48:47 -0000

I'm sorry to see Shakesville go. Although it's been a while since I was a regular reader and commenter (mostly because it got too much for my mental health), I met some very good friends here, and I always appreciated that there was a place where like-minded people could express their frustrations and build each other up and everything else this community is and was. Your writing inspired me as a writer. I hope you keep writing in some format, even if it's not a blog/not this blog.

Re: The End of This Road

leap — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 00:45:06 -0000

So many have said it all so beautifully, just as you have always done. But I do want to say thank you for your wonderful spirit, your agile mind, your elegant writing, your generosity of momentum. I know we will hear from, and about you, some time in the future.

Re: The End of This Road

Maveri4201 — Fri, 30 Aug 2019 17:46:18 -0000

I will very much miss this space. I moved away from being a regular commenter not because of your work (so great!), but because the current administration just made it feel so heavy all the time. I have no idea how you managed to navigate all of that and the layers and layers of hate above it all. Thank you so much for what you gave us.

Re: The End of This Road

SBcardinal — Fri, 30 Aug 2019 15:36:19 -0000

I'm late to the news, but don't want to miss thanking you for your years of hard work. I will miss seeing you, but will revel in knowing you are living a good life.

Re: The End of This Road

K8theCurst — Fri, 30 Aug 2019 14:50:06 -0000

Thank you for all the work you have done. You have been an inspiration for so many of us. On a personal level, you taught me so much about establishing boundaries, and gave me the courage to insist the boundaries I drew for myself were legitimate when the rest of the world wanted me to back down from them. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and sending you lots of love for the next chapter.

Re: The End of This Road

BellDraw — Fri, 30 Aug 2019 13:38:19 -0000

Sorry about all the bullying and that your health has suffered. Wishing you all the best. Will miss your insights. Thank you.

Re: The End of This Road

gunesvar — Fri, 30 Aug 2019 03:44:05 -0000

So, so glad I found this post in time to make a comment.

Liss, there are so many eloquent thanks expressed in the comments here, and I echo them whole-heartedly. You and I are about the same age, and Shakesville in its various iterations, and you, have been a part of my life for *nearly* a third of it (thirteen years, I believe). I've been a constant reader and occasional commenter, and this blog has stirred my soul and strengthened me through some pretty dire times. I'm sorry the work has taken such a toll on your well-being, and I thank you for sharing yourself and your life here in Shakesville. You are thoughtful, critical, compassionate, courageous, and generous.

Your work has seen me through my earlier, more care-free years of the end of young adulthood; through buying a house; through many partnerships; through tough years of learning to establish boundaries; through an international move; through the adoption of three street cats; through some awful years of struggle and caretaking and deaths of people close to me; through my resultant rise to a better, stronger and renewed life of being happy in a way I hadn't been before.

Some of your posts will stay with me forever, in particular "The Terrible Bargain" (that's just to mention one; I revisit posts via key word searches, but can't recall all their names) and the loving recognition posts re: Iain and your relationship. I adored your Daily Dose of Cute posts (I've loved all your kittehs and pups, but somehow, Zelly's beautiful eyes and smile get me each and every time). Some favorite regular features have been your Indiana Dunes posts (I love Lake Michigan), your photo posts of nature, your selfies (all of 'em, fashion, make-up, etc. -- so good to see your familiar face on these pages), the garbage mail posts with Deeky (and the conversation posts too, in fact, any news posts of you, Iain, and your friends of this community); and even the posts about trolls made me think and reflect. You also shared so much excellent writing from around the rest of the internet. And you coined great new words and ideas! Spoons! I will always have more spoons! And this commentariat -- it's so good to see long-time readers commenting again here -- folks out there whose handles I recognize and remember from way, way back. This has been a wonderful, kind, supportive community, and it stirs my heart to see so many familiar commenters here again.

One memory (probably many memories merged together) is of myself, grading student papers into the small hours, at my desk, under an open window, smelling the scent of earth and spring flowers, and everything is perfectly peaceful and silent. I need inspiration, so I open Shakesville to catch up, and I find something in its pages that you wrote that makes me pause, and reflect, and I lose myself for a while in the dark, just thinking deeply, and I come out of that meditative place with something seismically shifted in my heart forever, and for the better. That memory is the essence of Shakesville for me: deeply concentrated, peaceful, profound and permanent transitions of heart and mind. Thank you for that. Thank you so much.

Change is Good, and I'm absolutely embracing this, even though it means the end of something I appreciate and love. I'm excited for you, Liss -- I believe this means better health for you, new ideas and new experiences to enjoy. I'm happy for you, hard as this decision was for you to make. You've done great work here.

May we all continue to do great work.

Take care.

Keep well. <3 https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

Re: The End of This Road

hydropsyche — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 19:30:58 -0000

I missed this because I was taking my own internet hiatus at the start of the semester. Back when I first started my job, you featured a blogpost I made about it on Shakesville, and it was one of the most amazing internet moments ever for me. I so very much appreciate allllll that you have done online over the years, your passionate voice, and your constant belief in a better world. I hope you heal. I hope you find happiness. I hope to encounter you one day again.

Re: The End of This Road

AmeliaEve — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 18:12:06 -0000

Oh my gosh! I tiptoed back here before the long weekend, hoping to find out how you'd be returning for the fall. Selfishly, I'm terribly disappointed to be losing your big, shrill, gorgeous, advocating voice, as well as the community you have built so mindfully.

But really, I am incredibly proud of you for choosing self care and preserving your energy and healing your stress and strains. And I thank you heartily for all you have done and said and endured.

I look forward to hearing from you in the future, because I think you will do other great things and I can't even imagine what they are going to be. But as you taught me, I expect more.

Re: The End of This Road

AJ Patterson — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 16:14:02 -0000

Thanks so much for this, Liss. It meant so much to me, and to so many others.

Re: The End of This Road

Robs — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 14:03:32 -0000

I cant add anything that has not been more eloquently posted here already.

Thank you for everything you have done here Liss.

As I look through the comments above, I am reminded of just how much the community here has contributed to the quality of this site.

Peace and health to you, yours, and everyone in the Shakesville community.

Re: The End of This Road

PebbleInTheSky — Thu, 29 Aug 2019 10:36:40 -0000

Farewell. I'll miss this community, and I'm glad to have been a part of it when I was able. Take care.

One thing that stands as a testament to this place? How many familiar names I still see in these comments, whom I hold great affection for.

I spend most of my days in a handful of queer discord servers, and I still have my tumblr account, if anyone would still wish to contact me.

Re: The End of This Road

Seitan_Worshiper — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 21:18:30 -0000

Special PS to @BlueGal: That is a *lovely* backstory - I've been a big fan of Driftglass since the old Gilly days (sniffle)...Really enjoy your writing/commentary, too!

Re: The End of This Road

Seitan_Worshiper — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 20:36:33 -0000

Awww, man...I go away for a week, and....!

Melissa, I'm sorry you have to fold up Shakesville: it's been a place where - while I've (infrequently) had different views on some of the issues you and your mods have covered - I've learned about many things, including how to be a better listener, be more inclusive, and how to improve as a feminist in general (and a person more broadly).

Although I grieve that you are putting a period on the end of the sentence, and while I will virtually miss many of the Shakers who I've enjoyed reading/sharing with, I totally understand your need for long-term self-care.

Good luck in wherever the road takes you next, and I do hope that we may be able to correspond occasionally in the future.

All the best,

Seitan_Worshiper

Re: The End of This Road

LilKP — Wed, 28 Aug 2019 16:12:23 -0000

Liss,
Thank You. For everything.

Re: The End of This Road

Sing2phins — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 12:09:41 -0000

I wondered if this was going to happen and I'm so sorry that it's come to this. I don't know how long I've been reading - 10 or 12 years, probably - and I have learned SO much from you and the community. You are one of the bravest, smartest, hardest working women I "know." Thank you for putting yourself on the line over and over, for fighting the good fight, for speaking truth to power. You and your voice will be missed. I hope your health continues to improve, and I wish you all the best for the future.

Re: The End of This Road

pensnest — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 06:38:38 -0000

Thank you so much for the education. Thank you for the sisterhood. Thank you for the wisdom.

You have absorbed so much *shit* and put out so much sense, in your time writing for Shakesville. You have made a community. You have fought the good fight so hard. You've been brilliant, full of insight, and incredibly good at finding the right words.

I'm going to miss you, but you need this time to yourself. I wish you rest, joy, recovery and a chance to blossom again.

Re: The End of This Road

livi — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 00:10:50 -0000

@Melissa McEwan, I'm hapoy to read your update. It seems at least a couple times a day I think of something I would want to share at Shakesville, whether it's something serious or something for a fun thread. Here's a daily dose of cute fo the road. https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

Re: The End of This Road

themadkansan — Mon, 26 Aug 2019 19:55:48 -0000

@Melissa McEwan

...Less of a funeral, and more of a sendoff-party from all the other poor bastidges still stuck in this madhouse of an office. :)

Bonus Boots Blep:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

Re: The End of This Road

Melissa McEwan — Sun, 25 Aug 2019 23:23:16 -0000

Thank you so very, very much for all the kind messages, everyone. I am feeling quite overwhelmed by all the lovely sentiments; it feels a little bit like being at my own funeral. I have only just started beginning to process everything, and it’s going to take me awhile, so forgive me if this comment feels inadequate.

A number of items have come up here in comments and in emails, so I wanted to address those quickly:

1. I will leave this thread open until a couple of days after I originally said I would return from break, and then I will close it sometime that week (and put up the post that will stay at the top of the page). I hope now it won’t feel like an abrupt surprise when commenting is closed.

2. A bunch of folks have reached out expressing hope that I will keep seeking answers about my health issues (or concern that I won’t) now that I said I’m feeling somewhat better, and I want to assure you that I am indeed still avidly pursuing answers. Frankly, feeling a little bit better has given me the energy I need to schedule and attend doctors’ appointments, and wrangle with insurance, so having days where I can function well is giving me renewed determination to get to the bottom of this constellation of problems.

I’m also working on getting well in therapy. I’ve realized, after a month of distance, how much of myself I’ve had to shut down in order to keep doing this work that I loved, despite relentless abuse. Now I’ve got to do the hard work of recovering those pieces. It took a long time for me to get so far away from myself, and it’s going to take a long time to get back. I’m committed to doing that work, which is vitally important self-care.

3. People have asked if it’s okay to still email me things that they think I might like. Yes! Do stay in touch! And if you’re ever in the area and want to meet, feel welcome to extend me an invitation. I like coffee! ;)

4. My abundant gratitude to everyone who has made a farewell donation and/or offered to extend their subscriptions for awhile. I am so thankful for your generosity. I have no idea how long it might take me to get well enough that I can drive again, or if I ever will, or what I’ll do next, so my future is a giant question mark. It’s pretty terrifying, and your support is an enormous help. And an unexpected one. Thank you. ♥

Also: I am working my way through all of your emails, and sending responses to each one. It will take me awhile, so please bear with me if you’ve taken the time to send me a lovely note or donation and I haven’t yet replied.

Thank you for everything. For expecting more with me, and of me. You made me a better person. Keep expecting more of this world, and be kind to yourselves.

I miss you all already. I’ll never get over the good things that happened here.

Re: The End of This Road

potsherds — Sun, 25 Aug 2019 16:14:20 -0000

Thanks for everything, Liss! Good luck and best wishes!

Re: The End of This Road

Heather T — Sun, 25 Aug 2019 14:46:07 -0000

I should not neglect to also register the expressed gratitude of those family members and friends who appreciated the assistance and approach taken towards them in bringing their attention to un-examined beliefs and attitudes.

Through your model, the compassion and thoughtfulness with which you taught me to present these ideals - - made all the difference in the world to them. <3